Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Office Satire Series #3 - Marketing Pitch without expertise

Jai was on a high that morning. His team had been asked to submit a proposal for a project outsourced by Tough Claims, a global insurance giant, to build an automated system for approving or rejecting the claims that they received from their customers. The insurance account manager, Venu, had spoken to Jai the previous evening about the opportunity and asked him to get his best team members working on the proposal.
That same night, Jai forwarded all email that he received from Venu on the project. And by the next immediate morning, he had already sent out the meeting invite to his team members, for a discussion to plan the next steps.
Accordingly at 10 am, all members were assembled in Jai’s tiny cabin. The room felt all the more cramped, and each one could smell the other’s deodorant or the lack of it. All the key members, or so they thought themselves to be, were there including:
Shyam - the marketing maestro, who could turn dusty air into MacBook Air; who could turn a proposal into the client’s signed cheque leaf.
Balaji - the Project Manager who would eventually handle the proposal development, and probably the project development as well, if the project was awarded. How much he would suffer while managing the project was directly proportional to how much screwed up and fabricated the proposal was. So he had a keen interest on how this proposal would go.
Krishna - Balaji’s assistant, one could say. He relied fully on Balaji for his existence in the company. Krishna fully believed that Balaji would carry him wherever he went within the company, and followed him like a pug.
They eagerly awaited further details from Jai on the opportunity. After few minutes of silence, Jai spoke up,
Team, good news for the morning. As you would have read from the email I sent you, we have been given the opportunity to submit a project proposal to Tough Claims. This is a big deal for us if we crack it. The proposal needs to go out by the end of this week. The email I sent should provide you with more details to get started. So let us begin on a war-footing.
Balaji spoke,’But Jai, the weekend is just three days away. I feel it is quite short a time to get the proposal across in good shape. In fact, from the email you sent, it looks like the account team had received the client’s notification on the proposal more than a week back. So why didn’t they notify us earlier? That would have given us more time.
Jai replied, ‘Come on, we cannot always expect to have ideal situations for every task we do. We have to work with what we have. Three days is still good enough. If you ask me, I can work on this proposal by myself and still send it across in just a day. So three days’ time is still generous, if you ask me. See the bigger picture. If we struggle today and win the project, this client can turn out to be a platinum customer for us in the long run.
Balaji thought to himself, ‘Sadly we are pushed to a situation where we have to ask an arrogant imbecile like you for opinion and guidance. Don't have the ba**s to question the account team’s delay, but lectures us on how to see the big picture. Every day is just a dirty picture when working with you. If only we had the empowerment to take our own decisions.
As Balaji stood quietly, but simmering inside, Jai continued,
Let me give you a quick background on this. The client already has a functioning claims management system. But their claims approval, or rejection, process is largely human dependent. They want to automate the decision making so that there is no human intervention needed for this process at all. They want us to develop this system using Python.
Balaji was alarmed: ‘But Jai, we don’t have expertise in Python to take this up!
Jai: ‘Come on guys, this is where you need to take a 30000 feet view and think out-of-the-box.
Now Balaji was confused, ‘Why didn’t Jai express anything directly? What was the box doing so high up in the air? He was fed up listening to all the figurative speech shit that was so popular with IT folks.’ 
According to Balaji, if you thought from out of a box, then it meant you were homeless.
Jai continued, ‘This project is worth at least 5000 dollars for us. It is important because it can bring in more opportunities for us from this client.
Yeah, Balaji had heard this one before. It was always like that. One small opportunity followed by loads of big opportunities, they would say. But much later, to your horror, you would realize that the small opportunity was actually your big opportunity all the while and nothing was to follow it. 
Balaji: ‘But Jai, even if we take up this project despite our lack of expertise in this technology, 5000 dollars is hardly a significant revenue. Are you thinking about taking up this project for so less?
Jai: ‘That you only have to tell me. Do one thing. Come up with a two slider explaining why this project should cost more than 5000 dollars.
Balaji: ‘No Jai, I agree with you fully that we can do this project for 5000 dollars. I don’t have any arguments with that.’ (Anything to escape creating the two slider)
Jai: ‘Good, now that we all are on the same page, get started on the proposal. Keep the project cost to 5000 dollars for now so that we are competitive. We can always get additional revenue from the client through Change Requests once the project is awarded to us.
So this was the strategy! Quote low, win over the competition, get the project, then confuse the client, come up with Change Requests for all minor changes as well, and bring in additional revenue to the project.
Just then Krishna spoke, ‘This is Krishna. I have one suggestion.
Jai: ‘Yes, yes, I know who you are. Just go ahead. Say what you want to quickly.
Krishna: ‘It is very important to confirm with the account team or the client if there will be any travel involved in this project.
Jai: ‘Well, of all the questions that are there to ask, you want to ask about travel. Well, I don’t think there is travel involved. Even if there is, you are not going to travel. I am not going to let you. So just focus on the proposal. Ok?
Krishna: ‘Ok.
Jai: ‘So Shyam, I need you to come up with the technical aspects of our solution. In fact I want you to design the whole solution. You have to clearly explain how we will go about the requirement, what methodology we will use to come up with a solution, and so on. Can you come up with the draft version of it by today evening?
Shyam: ‘Well, the time is short but, sure, I will come up with something by evening.
Jai: ‘Great, guys, so let’s get started. Remember, this is just the beginning of the end.
Once again, he had said it without thinking about why he was saying it. This is how Jai thought. He had this ‘thoughtless way of thinking’ capability by which he could come up with completely meaningless disconnected statements in the blink of an eye. It was almost like the one-inch punch by Bruce Lee. Most absurd statements using the least number of words. 

That was his talent.
Back at the desk, Balaji checked Jai’s calendar and set up a meeting invite for 6 pm the same day. Shyam had by then come up with a draft of his proposed solution. As Balaji and Krishna assembled in Jai’s room, 
Shyam explained the solution to Jai,
So as we understand the requirement, the client wants an automated system that would decide whose claim would get approved or rejected. They also want certain high valued claims to be automatically rejected so that the client organization would incur no costs due to high valued payouts to their customers.
 
To design such a solution, I’ve come up with a brand new technology called R.A.T (Rapid Assessment Technology) which would help in assessing each claim and choose the appropriate decision, without human intervention. This technology would be based on data analytics and machine learning, wherein, if a person’s claim is rejected, then his neighbor's claim and that of all his relatives, if any, will also be automatically rejected so that they all don’t feel bad about each other. The system would learn from each decision taken and by the end of it will be the most cutthroat claim system ever built.
 
I am also planning to use Internet Of Things (IoT) technology in this so that the claim system would talk to the insurance customer’s wallet and find out how much money it contained. If the wallet had more than 100 dollars in it, then the claim would automatically get rejected, deeming that the customer already had sufficient money with them.
As a value-add we can also build an emotion sensor that would use big data analytics to access the customer’s medical records and their emotions to find out if they are at risk of suicide or heart attack if the claim got rejected. This way, the claim management system can make selective approval choices while making profit through rejecting all other high-valued claims.
This whole system will follow what I call the C.R.A.P methodology which is CREATE, REFINE, APPLY and PROFIT. I invented both the R.A.T and the C.R.A.P a couple of hours ago for this proposal. A claim request will be created, it will be processed and refined for a decision choice, the decision choice will then be applied to reject a claim, and the insurance company will make the profit.
Balaji and Krishna were totally flabbergasted by all that they heard. Where did Shyam pull all this from? It was not even science fiction. It was science friction. They suspected that Shyam must have secretly smoked weed during lunch time to come up with something like this. Amazingly unbelievable.
Jai was thoroughly excited with the solution, ‘That is well done Shyam. A very good solution and well explained too. So basically, R.A.T will contain the C.R.A.P.
Shyam: ‘Absolutely Jai.
Balaji smirked as he thought, ‘Of course Jai is right. Only a rat like him would know what he contained.
Jai: ‘It is all fine. But do you think we can build this system convincingly?
Shyam: ‘Who said anything about the system. I can build the proposal convincingly. It is up to you guys to build the system convincingly, if the project came through.
Jai looked at Balaji and asked, ‘So tell me Balaji, can we build a working system based on this solution? I only want to hear Yes as the answer.
Balaji: 'Sure. Yes' (All the while wondering about the procedure to change the team. He had no choice but say yes. If the project came through, they would get butchered, on one side by the client and by the account team on the other side. Then it would indeed be the beginning of the end.)
Jai: ‘Great, so we have work at our hand. Let’s put together the proposal and send out a first cut to the account team by tomorrow for review. I am sure this will be a great project experience.
Shyam, Balaji and Krishna came out of Jai’s room, lots of thoughts running through each one’s mind. Shyam went away to his desk whistling. His creative juices were already running with phrases like BIG DATA ANALYTICS, 2-WAY PROPULSION, BACK-DOOR SYMMETRY, DEVICE AUTHORITY popping up in his mind. Most of those phrases were entirely made up, but would look good in a proposal. He knew it, but the client would never know.
He would get a great proposal out by tomorrow, Shyam thought to himself confidently.
Balaji and Krishna walked unhappily to their desks. Balaji was worried that this opportunity would screw their lives fully. He knew that if he randomly picked up a team member and asked him what Python was, the chances were that the person would say he was referring to the snake. How was he to get the team organised in short time for such a project, if it came through. From where would he build the expertise in short time.
Krishna noticed Balaji’s gloomy face. 
He was quite upset himself as he thought, ‘There would be no travel involved in the project! How could Jai say that he wouldn’t allow me to travel? I will have my revenge on Jai for that. I will take a couple of extra leaves this month, over and above the usual, and travel at least to the nearby railway station and shoot some pictures. I will make Jai jealous.
Krishna spoke, ‘Don’t worry Balaji. We won’t get caught up in this project. i will take care of it.
Balaji: ‘What do you mean? How, Krishna?
Krishna: ‘Because tomorrow morning I am going to break two coconuts in Mylapore Luz Pillaiyar temple praying that this project shouldn't be awarded to us.
Balaji had a real face-palm moment then.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Office Satire Series #2 - Handling a client escalation

Every team of every company faces a work day of chaos caused by an escalation from the client, the effects of which may last a day or even span months altogether. It was one such day for the Digital Fittings team of Conscious Circus Solutions Limited; a day that was filled with numerous meetings, questions and threats.

The Project Delivery Head, Jai, was pacing about his room, with a tensed look on his face. He was absent-mindedly throwing darts at the magnetic board that was hung at the far end of his very tiny cabin. He had received a call from the division Vice-President about the escalation received that morning from the client European Escalators, the company that made escalators for almost the entire of Europe. So when there was an escalation from them, it had to be taken seriously or at least the body language should convey so.

Moreover, what made this escalation all the more difficult was that the account manager, Sathyamoorthi, temporarily shifted his base to the office of Digital Fittings. He wanted to ‘work’ (read as spy) with the team closely and understand the process of development and delivery so that such issues could be avoided in the future. (It’s always an irony how people come up with the best solutions when there is a burning issue but not when they create or develop something for the first time. It’s probably the fire under the ass which works the magic.)

Elsewhere, or rather just outside Jai’s cabin, Balaji and Krishna were pacing about as well, looking very tensed. They had received the email from Jai that morning that they read word by word carefully. The client had escalated about the bad quality of the deliveries made the previous week. Balaji was managing the project and Krishna was his project lead. So they knew well that they were going to bear the brunt of this escalation. But there was something else that they feared the most in all of this: something they feared more than the probable low ratings in the appraisals that year.

Just then Jai looked out of his cabin and signalled them to come inside. Once they entered the cabin Jai sat down on his chair, however never forgetting his policy to not offer any of his subordinates a chair when they visited his cabin. The chairs were meant to remain spic-and-span. So Balaji and Krishna remained standing while Jai remained silent. Balaji and Krishna glanced at Jai’s whiteboard in which he had written seemingly random unconnected phrases such ‘Burger Economics’, ‘Global Meltdown’, ‘Tirupati’, ‘Angry Birds’, ‘Canon DSLR’, ‘Kabaddi World Championship’, etc, the meaning or connection which they could not understand. Before they could read further, Jai cleared his throat to get their attention.

Jai: “So have you guys read through the email from the client? I don’t really understand why such things are coming up on a Monday morning instead of an appreciation email from the client?”

Krishna thought to himself, ‘Maybe next time we will ask them to strictly send all escalations by Friday itself’. 

Jai continued, “Alright, so tell me, what's happening? Why are we getting this escalation from the client? I thought the project was running fine.” 

‘Of course he would think that way as long as it absolved him from all responsibility of shouldering the project’, Krishna thought.

Balaji: “We have gone through the email, Jai. We are right now working with the team to identify and understand the issues pointed out by the client. Please give us some time and we will get back to you with responses as soon as possible.

Jai: “You still need time to study the issues? That’s surprising and pathetic. The client’s email clearly talks about quality issues in our last week’s deliverables. I would have expected that you had the solution with you when you walked into this room

Balaji: “But Jai, we got the email just this morning. We really need to know if the client is justified in their concerns and claims. Please give us some time.” 

Jai (not listening to what Balaji was saying): “This is a platinum account for us. I really think you should have given your full attention to the project, considering that you are billed at 100% in this project. You are not handling other projects, right?

Balaji: “No Jai, I am handling three more projects. You assigned them to me last month. And you said that I would be billed at 100% in this project because the other projects were taken up at very low costs and this was the only customer with whom we have good profit margins.

Jai: “Whatever may be the case, you should have given your full attention to this project considering you are billed fully in it. I can’t teach you how to handle multiple-projects. You should have extended your office hours if that was the need of the hour. You can’t give excuses now.” 

Krishna and Balaji knew well that Jai couldn’t teach them anything at all. He did not even know the names of half of his team members, except the ones with whom he played Kabbadi on weekends or the ones who shared his interest in Angry Birds.

Balaji: “But Jai, we are also short of team members. We don’t have the budgeted number of team members. Those who are billed on this are actually working on other projects and are on this project only for billability. So everyone is under pressure and that is giving rise to such issues.

Jai: “You can't give me these silly reasons Balaji. When we took up this project you knew very well that we were going to run it with fewer team members than budgeted. You should have planned the project accordingly, by sharing team members with other projects and getting them to work for more than ten hours each day to compensate.

Balaji: “But Jai, the project plan was given by the client and we had to stick to it. I had raised the risk many times about the low team head count even during the proposal stage. I had also mentioned that we would have quality issues due to the understaffing.

Jai: “This is not the time to talk about things that are past. Focus on the present. You can only act upon what is within your area of influence. You cannot give me silly reasons instead of handling the situation.” 

Probably Jai had read some management book over the weekend and was regurgitating all that he read here now. The fact of the matter was, what he read and how he managed his team did not match at all.

As Krishna and Balaji stood quietly, wishfully contemplating how they would take their revenge on him, in all devious and perverted ways, during a Kabaddi match, Jai spoke.

Jai: “Whatever you plan to do to fix this, get it done fast. The account manager has shifted base to this office and he is going to be breathing down my neck. So I have to keep him informed about the steps we are taking to resolve this issue.” 

Secretly, both Balaji and Krishna were happy that Sathyamoorthi was going to work out of the office for the next few days. At least someone was around to breathe down Jai’s neck and make him queazy.

But their secret happiness was short-lived, as what they feared most happened next.

Jai: “Do one thing. Create a two slider with details of the issue, our responses and our solution. Present the details neatly on each slide.

Balaji: “Jai, but that would make it a three slider, not a two-slider!

Jai: “Well, figure it out then. I cannot hold your hand for everything. You guys have to start learning to solve problems by yourselves. Now get going and come back to me by lunch time with the PPT and our responses to the client.

Faced with a mathematical-cum-hypothetical PPT problem of distributing three slides equally over two slides of PPT, Krishna and Balaji went out of the room.

On the way to their desks, they met Sathyamoorthi who was coming out of his room. They could not avoid him. They knew well that he was going to try and squeeze some information out of them which he would probably use against them later in a ‘account Vs. service team’ blame game.

Sathyamoorthi: “So what’s up guys, working hard on the fix already?” 

Krishna: “Yes Sathya, we are.” 

Sathyamoorthi: “Guys, I don’t have to tell you how important this customer is to Conscious. If you faced some challenges in the project, you should have approached me earlier. I would have helped out. I am talking to the client every day and I could have read their pulse and warned you so that you could have made the necessary corrections.” 

He was talking like a nurse who could read a patient’s pulse and tell exactly when the patient would die.

Balaji and Krishna knew well that this was a lie. They knew how account teams were literally waiting like hyenas to rip apart the service teams, when their guard was down. This was all a business game. The account teams wanted full control of the project. But the truth was, even if that happened, Krishna and Balaji couldn't care less. They would have been happy to be anywhere but near Jai.

Balaji: “Yes Sathya, we know. We will definitely get it fixed.

Sathyamoorthi: “Good, once you have the solution let me know. I would like to explore the ‘possibility’ we have to regain the client’s trust.

The way he stressed and dragged the pronunciation of the word ‘possibility’, it sounded more like pause-the-ability to regain the client’s trust.

Sathymoorthi continued
In the future also, if you face issues you have the full liberty to escalate it to the highest level, either me or Jai. Remember guys, almost 50% of our account’ revenue comes from this client. So it is important to please this customer and provide them the best-in-class service

Balaji and Krishna had to stifle their laughter. What did he mean by calling himself and Jai the highest level of authority? One escalation from the customer and they were shitting in their pants. Yet they speak about authority! Right now these guys were just worried about protecting their own ass more than anything else.

Krishna and Balaji spent the rest of the morning speaking to the team members, or at least to those who were available in office. Most of the team members were away on vacation (due to a long weekend) or called in sick that morning. Did they foresee an escalation? The only team members who were available in office were the Tester and a Junior developer. So Balaji convened a meeting with these members anyway, who did not seem to understand much of what the escalation was about. After taking the team members’ thoughts (or you could say ‘their silence’) into consideration, Balaji prepared a 3-slider PPT with details that Jai had asked for.

Post lunch, when they knew Jai would be free, and probably playing Angry Birds, they knocked on his door. Prior to going to his cabin, they had sent him the PPT. They didn't want to give him much time to go through the PPT before meeting them, lest he came up with more work in it for them. 

Once again they found themselves standing in front of Jai, while he went through the PPT. The chairs stood behind them, neat and tidy: a silent witness to all the proceedings in the 5x5 cabin. 

After reading through the details, Jai looked up at them with a serious look on his face.

Jai: “This is what I want you guys to pay attention to. I clearly told you I wanted a 2-slider and you give me three slides instead. This explains why you goofed up in your deliverables to the client.” 

Balaji and Krishna really couldn't make the connection between the two. Jai was known to make such randomly disconnected statements, like he was in an inebriated state. Moreover they could not understand Jai’s fascination for PPTs. It was more of a fetish actually! They even thought that Jai would probably want to be buried with a two slide PPT in his coffin after he died!

Balaji: “No Jai, we want to ensure that all the details were included in the PPT. Sorry about the extra slide that we had to use.” 

Every Indian employee is generous with his apologies. He apologises even for other’s mistakes. He apologises even for taking a leak break. Such is the servility of Indian employees because they always fear the consequence of not apologising. Every wrong action or inaction by an employee always results in bad consequences in the immediate following yearly appraisal. That’s how the cycle of life within a corporate runs.

Jai: “That’s alright“ (Of course he forgave them, the magnanimous prick that he was). “So you are telling me that you will re-deliver the entire set of milestones by next Monday, but the team will have to work this weekend as well?”

This was what Balaji and Krishna found irritating about Jai. They had spelt it all out clearly, in plain English, in the PPT. Yet he had to confirm it verbally with them. This was probably his way of rubbing it in, or just his way of making people commit to something which he could use to hold them against later. But when it came to him, he was always very careful not to commit to anything, especially over email. Shrewd fellow.

Balaji: “Yes, we will have to work this weekend. The team will come in. We will re-deliver all milestones next Monday.”

As with most of the Indian managers, Balaji too confirmed on behalf of his team, even without checking with them if they would be available that weekend. Well, why wouldn't they be? Appraisals were round the corner anyway and no one will want to refuse a manager’s request and end up with a low appraisal rating, right?

Jai: “Good, the plan seems fine. Still, see if you can deliver it earlier by a day so that we can score some brownie points with the client”

This was a typical Indian mentality. Be it a vegetable kiosk or a multinational company, we always want that little extra no matter what. That makes us happy. Even when the client spits on our face, we are happy later if the same client gives us a smile at the end of it all. Spit or spat, we wipe it all away as if nothing happened. That’s our motto!

Balaji: “Sure Jai, we will try to deliver it ahead.”

(Both Balaji and Jai knew this was not going to happen. But it gave them a satisfaction to discuss about it. It was like this Law of Attraction thing that could make a miracle happen somehow!)

Krishna: “One more thing, Jai. We are worried about Sathyamoorthi. He keeps watching what we do throughout the day and even asks us for details frequently. We don’t know what to do. We are worried that we might unwittingly reveal some sensitive information to him.”

Jai: “Yeah, I can understand. In fact, Sathyamoorthi tried me also once.

Krishna and Balaji were shocked to hear it. They didn’t think Jai or Sathyamoorthi were of that type , to hit on each other. So what was Jai talking about?

Jai, sensing that he had said something out of place, corrected himself,What I meant to say was, Sathyamoorthi once tried to corner me into talking and giving him some information. But I avoided him very cleverly

Krishna: “Oh really! What did you do Jai?” 

So finally there was something they could learn from their boss!!! Just the thought was so exciting.

Jai: “Whenever I was walking by his room or he was walking towards me in the corridor, I simply lowered my head or looked the other way and walked very fast, so that I could cross that area before he called out to me.

Krishna and Balaji felt really proud about Jai after hearing this. Such strategy! Such diplomacy! No wonder he was in that top position! So that was all they had to do. They just had to lower their head and walk fast, hoping Sathya would not call out to them. And there was no need to bother about the risk that Sathya might escalate about the team not providing him any cooperation. Well, probably the VP himself was avoiding him using this strategy. Who knew?

We often think that higher the designation, the more sensible and matured the person would become. That’s a myth. In many cases, they just grow, up the corporate ladder, from being an ass to a ‘geniass’. 

Krishna: “Sure Jai, that’s a great idea. We will follow the same strategy.” 

Again a typical Indian mentality to appreciate someone or something as being great even without any valid justification or even if the idea was crap. We just like to please people. And fairer the skin of the person, the more we love to praise that person.

The rest of the week went by with Krishna and Balaji slogging it out to plan the re-development and delivery, guiding the teams and ensuring that daily targets were met. And above all, they had to send out a 2-slider daily status update to Jai as well, for which they were always chided by Jai about the PPT having three slides, instead of two. 

When the weekend came, the team members were all dejected. Many of them had made plans for the weekend. But they could not refuse to work for the fear of facing repercussions in the appraisal. Of course, many of them worked because they had a sense of duty to do so and help the project out.

Corporate company is a place where the imaginary hair of even a bald person is held by his manager in the form of appraisal ratings. It was the string that the manager pulled when he wanted to get a team member to cooperate. The market was competitive and full of people willing to oblige. Everyone was dispensable.

Krishna and Balaji were prepared to spend the weekend in office to support and guide the team members. The delivery date was nearing. 

On Friday evening, Jai had told them, ‘I will try to join you guys if possible (join us? It was not like we were going to a movie. Or was he?). I have some important personal work. Let me see anyway.’ 

Balaji and Krishna then thought, ‘Yeah right, we don’t have any personal work or life ourselves. We were adopted by the company like in the movie ‘The Truman Show’ and ever since we’ve dedicated our lives to the service of the company’.

Both Krishna and Balaji knew that they would never see Jai’s face until Monday morning. But there was definitely a possibility of him calling them up to check on the work though.

And he did call.

On Sunday morning around 6am, Krishna received a call from Jai asking for the project status. (He probably called at that time, when he got up to take a leak and thought he would as well call up the team and catch them by surprise. He had to keep the team on their toes, right? So once he spoke to the team, and then took a leak, he must have gone back to sleep and dream in La La Land.)

Jai: “Krishna, I am not able to reach Balaji or the other team members. What is happening out there?” 

Well, if he was really that concerned about the project then he should have been here with us yesterday’, so Krishna thought.

Krishna: “All is well Jai. Team is working on the files. Both Balaji and I are here to guide them. We will take care.” (And you needn’t bother about it as well, so that we can work in peace.)

But Jai couldn’t stay away from getting daily updates. After all, he had to answer people who questioned him. He had to somehow make everyone believe that he had handled the whole issue by planning the re-development and sorting out the situation all by himself, even though he really didn't know much about the project to begin with. 

That’s the first rule of Save-Your-Own-Ass protocol; hijack someone else’s work and effort as your own and promote yourself. Believe it or not, this is the strategy most of the corporate employees are following today to push themselves up the ladder. And it’s working perfectly as well. All you have to be is a little shameless. Well, that’s no problem.

Jai: “Great, call me anytime if you need something. If I am available, I will pick up the phone. If I don’t pick the call, send me a message.

Well, that was just great. They could now call him any time regardless of whether he picked up their call or not. Also they could now send him a message and hope to providence that he would respond to their urgent SOS for help. It was really comforting to know that he was somewhere out there, giving a damn about their existence.

Finally after scrambling and wrapping up the milestones, they left office on Sunday evening. They were totally exhausted. They needed some rest before reporting back at office on Monday morning. They also had to confirm the deliveries to Sathyamoorthi that morning. 

Jai was in a very good mood. Well, why wouldn't he be? Things had been resolved and the deliveries were made by the team. He knew he had a good team that he gave a shit about. 

Balaji and Krishna came to see him in his cabin.

Balaji: “So Jai, all the files have been re-developed and delivered. This time we have double-checked to ensure that all files are of best quality.

Jai: “Good work guys. I knew I could count on you. But take this as a learning so that the next time it does not happen and we all don’t end up working hard again. Remember, this is just the beginning of the end….of our shortage of projects and clients, and our process issues.

Krishna and Balaji wondered why he included himself in when talking about working hard. And even more weird was his phrase ‘The beginning of the end’. What did he really mean to convey? He was talking like Rahul Gandhi a lot these days. And that was scary. It may even turn out to be a prophecy for the whole team! My God, why did he have to say it?!!

They knew all about his hard work and the urgent personal work he had over the weekend. After all, they read the review he had written in Facebook on Sunday about the movie he watched in the theatres over the weekend, while his team members were slogging it out in the office! Out of empathy, he could have at least refrained from writing a movie review on FB.

But they were pleasantly surprised when Sathyamoorthi offered to take them out for lunch after all the work they had done over the weekend! Now that was comforting. Maybe that guy was more professional than they gave him credit for! But they reminded themselves that he was still a shrewd fellow and they had to be wary about him.

But the best part of this all was that no proper Root Cause Analysis was done to identify the cause of the issues. The files were simply re-developed and delivered to the client, with the team extending their work hours. Most of the issues reported by the client were just wish-lists that were not included in the original scope of work. But out of fear of losing the client, even those changes were accommodated at no additional cost. Finally the escalation was handled, successfully.

And thus continued the adventures of Krishna, Balaji and the tyrant Jai, about which we shall see in the forthcoming episodes, with more new characters. 

But wait, how should this issue have been properly addressed? Read on to find out.


How this issue should have been handled?

This is how I think the client escalation should have been handled. 

  1. When the escalation email came to the VP (or any other person from the senior management) from the client, he should assure the client that he would look into the matter, discuss it with the  project team and they would address it at the earliest. As required, the VP should also direct the client to the relevant person in the escalation hierarchy, if the client has bypassed that hierarchy.
  2. The VP should then send out the details to the relevant project members, including the Delivery Head.
  3. The Delivery Head should call for a meeting with the Project Manager and his leads, to discuss the escalation in an objective manner, without expressing panic or threats of repercussions.
  4. The DH and the PM should arrive at a consensus of the time by when the necessary responses to the client would be ready. The DH should give the PM sufficient time to address this matter in a professional manner.
  5. Ideally the DH should know the details of each project that his team is handling. Even if he/she doesn’t, at least in this situation, the DH should get a full brief about the project from the PM.
  6. The PM should convene a meeting with his team and go through the issues in detail. The PM should validate the issues, checking if it is really a quality issue or more of a wish list from the client.
  7. Once all items have been categorised, the PM should validate the items against the scope of the project, as detailed in the Scope of Work document. If the requested change is not within scope, then there is no obligation to work on it. The same can be communicated to the client as well, provided they are treated as human beings and not as demi-gods. 
  8. For valid defects reported by the client, a Root-Cause-Analysis should be conducted by the PM along with his team, to understand the causes of the defects in the files delivered. This should be kept ready for internal and client discussions.
  9. Any change requested outside the scope of work warrants a change request (But sadly, change request is a term that terrifies managers and account teams. How do you convey it to the client and ask for more money? We don’t want to hurt the client’s feelings by throwing a change request at them, right?)
  10. The PM should discuss any team member resourcing needs clearly with the DH. The PM, with the DH’s help, should ensure that the required team members are available to make the agreed changes within the set time.
  11. Once the issue categorisation and RCA data is available, an email needs to be sent out to the client informing that the issues have been understood and may be discussed. The client should be requested for a convenient time to discuss the details further over a conference call.
  12. The PM then sends out a meeting invite to all required participants of the call. Depending on the magnitude of the escalation, it may be necessary for the DH to also be present in the call.
  13. Prior to the call, the PM and the DH should discuss all the points with the account manager as well, so that all three have the same understanding. It is very important to call a spade a spade in front of the client.
  14. During the call, the client should be appraised about the team’s understanding of the issues. In a very professional manner, the PM should discuss about the changes requested by the client that are not part of the agreed scope. 
  15. The client’s views about such changes should be duly noted. If they feel strongly about a change even though it is not within scope, then it is important to inform the client that such changes may have a cost and timeline impact.
  16. The client should confirm if it is fine with them for the team to provide a Change Request document with cost and timeline impact details. Once this is confirmed over a call, or later by an email, a timeline should be communicated to the client as to when the PM can send out the details to them. The PM should stick to that committed timeline and send out the Change Request document for them to approve.
  17. For all defects reported by the client, clarify any queries with the client over the call, or in a separate call if they need to have some specific members join in from their side.
  18. Make an entry of such defects into the Residual Defects report so that they may be an input for Defect Prevention mechanism later on. The findings from the RCA also becomes a part of the Defect Prevention mechanism.
  19. Communicate a timeline to the client by when the identified defects may be fixed and delivered. While communicating timelines, keep in mind the availability of the team members. 
  20. If work is being planned over a weekend or holiday, the PM should discuss the same with the team and get a confirmation that they are available. It is up to the PM to convey the gravity of the situation and convince the team member to help out. But at no point of time should a team member’s refusal to work on a weekend/holiday be held against him/her in the appraisal.
  21. If sufficient team members are not available, then the PM has to discuss the same with the DH so that possible courses of action may be decided. It may even be necessary for the PM to provide the client with a timeline based on the availability of the team members. It is then his capability to convince the client for agreeing to an extended timeline to complete the fixes.
  22. If the fixes will take more time, then the PM may also plan a staggered delivery of the files, if technically possible, so that the client will keep receiving files every day or every alternative day that they can begin to review, while the team worked on the other files over a more relaxed timeline.
  23. Ideally, even before the project development is commenced, a call between the client and the project team should be set up by the PM to discuss project scope and expectations. The escalation hierarchy should also be communicated clearly to the client. This would set many things in order.
  24. And if for certain reasons, the required number of team members is not available for the project as budgeted in the proposal, the PM has every right to raise a risk and refuse to commence the project until the required number of team members are in place. 
  25. And at no point of time should any non-professional behaviour (such as panic, threatening the team member, etc) come in while handling issues. It is so easy to get into a blame game in such delicate situations. The PM should avoid it at all costs and should protect his team from becoming a victim to it at all costs.

But in most projects, the above steps are never followed. We try to address the issue, but not the underlying cause of it. We then end up playing a blame game when all hell breaks loose. We end up handling issues in a haphazard manner and scramble to meet delivery dates.


Remember, the client only remembers a bad delivery, never a delayed one. So as a PM, never let anyone, not even the DH, push you for a quicker delivery just to earn a brownie point. And how you handle the escalation sets your relation with the client and the project team. 

Office Satire Series #3 - Marketing Pitch without expertise

Jai was on a high that morning. His team had been asked to submit a proposal for a project outsourced by Tough Claims, a global insuranc...